HW 21 - Expert #1

I was not there the day of so the list is derived from Michelle in section 4 (http://michelle-normalisweird.blogspot.com/):

• Most men don’t get medical attention right away because they are in denial at first.

• Wanting to seem invincible: that death will never “catch” us and to continue to be positive until the end.
• Movies don’t show the reality of how a disease or cancer can affect the patient
• Remember to do nice things to people even those who you’ve never met because you will never be able to once you die and can sometimes regret leaving unfinished business with those close to you.
• The best times of the 26 years of marriage were weirdly the ones spent when he was sick because did not have to focus on anything but her husband.
• Was to be paralyzed all he said was “ If I can still move my hands and paint than I’ll be alright.” (Art was his passion, this was his way to me of leaving an imprint in the world)
• TIME; something one shouldn’t waste especially on silly things (when one is a teenager we can do this) and spend it more on the important and fulfilling moments in life.
• Keeping it “human” as possible was important; making sure people saw him as a real person, a husband, and a father not as cancer.
• Went to Buddhist monk and he told her the signs to know when it was coming; one was pushing his hands out as if he were pushing away death and he did! (During the final weeks)
• Stillness that was felt in the room and in his body was indescribable when he died.

 I also believe that Hollywood portrays illness and dying in a very bland way. Based on all of the movies I've seen, the patients that are going through the process of dying all have the same response of acceptance toward it. The movies make everything very one tone and create the same old character who believes its their time to go and doesn't want anyone to be sad about it. This character has always been admirable, but not every one who is dying has the same thought process. In fact, I'm sure everyone reacts differently when, and if, they go through it themselves.  It makes sense that Hollywood portrays this character repeatedly because they give a positive perspective. Though it is unrealistic, it is inspiring.

In regard to the sixth and seventh point,  I think it proves how through death and weakness, our appreciation for the things we love grows and overshadows everything else that  used to upset us. Knowing that you might never paint again makes you realize how much you really loved to do it and realizing that you have a limited time with the people closest to you makes you appreciate them being around more.  This is true at least for the people lucky enough to have loved ones and passions.  It makes me wonder what runs through the minds of those who are sick or dying that spent their whole life doing a job they hated? How do you feel when you have a distant family that doesn't care whether you're dead or not? Also, how would it feel to have to visit a family member you were never fond of while they are sick or dying? I don't think I'll ever have to be put in such tough situations because I have a very tight knit family, but I truly feel bad for the people who do and I acknowledge that they are out there.